the journey.

Let's set the record straight. Most of my posts are about a specific "spiritual" topic. But let me say, I'm far from having it all figured out. In fact, I don't think any of us do. Yeah, I do my best to analyze things and figure out the message to the madness, but beyond that I'm pretty average. I just finished high school and I'm blonde. My credentials aren't really that great. If you look at my hypothetical resume, you'll find a few summer jobs, nothing else. So, really: Why take me seriously? Here's my answer: By looking at each other's journeys, we're bound to learn something new. By searching through each other's stories, we're destined to learn things. And I love sharing what I learn with others.

Last night, I was scanning through one of my old journals and came across the recurring trend of "feeling close to you, God" and then  "God, where are you?". That's pretty much how my life works. Can anyone relate? It's seriously a roller-coaster ride in my spiritual life: No understatement. But if we look at this type of journey in perspective, doesn't it make sense?

I've been reading C.S. Lewis this summer (see my book reviews to catch up on my summer reading list). In The Screwtape Letters, Screwtape mentions how God puts his followers through tough times to force them to run to Him (God). I have seen this countless times in my life. In the trials, in the change-when I'm not feeling close to God and yet I search for Him, He pulls me close and draws me near. However, meeting with God is a constant, daily struggle to intentionally seek after Him even when I don't "feel like it".

Back to the main idea: The cycle of not feeling close, and then feeling close to God. When we don't feel close to God, and yet we constantly pursue Him, He shows up, and then we feel close to Him again. I would then surmise that we then tend to take advantage of this feeling of closeness and He gives us another struggle to draw us closer to Him again. Should this make us angry since we're supposing that God is handing us challenges for His benefit? No. God is throwing us challenges for our benefit. Better yet, God knows that there is no such thing as us being "close enough" to Him. There are countless ways we can grow in our relationship with Him. So even when things are sailing smoothly in our daily lives, there are many ways in which we can grow closer to our Heavenly Father.

This is a part of the journey. Our job is not to figure out a way to make things easier for ourselves but instead to grow closer to God. I would rather live a incredibly difficult life in the eyes of the world but be close to God rather than have an easy sailing sort of life and yet a wishy washy relationship with my heavenly Father. With that said, embrace this journey. Hold tight to the ups and downs-the roller coaster ride-the waves of life. God is pulling you towards Him with every changing of the tide.

See what I mean about putting things in perspective?